Tell a Tubby teletubby Duelist to die!
by bahamutslave
Summary: YUGI DUELS THE TELETUBBIES! FUNNY! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! if I get 5 reviews I will put up another chapter!


Yugi-oh!  
'Tell a tubby' duelist to die  
Teletubby..........................  
I do not own Yugi-oh nor do I own the teletubbies (they can burn in hell)  
and I hope no one's offended by any remarks made  
Yugi: Hey I wanna duel someone who is actually a challenge!  
Tristan: The cereal box sure seems a challenge enough for you!  
Yugi: Screw you!! So what if I don't know what Toucan Sam says "follow  
your____!"  
Joey: there's nothing good on T.V.!!  
(Joey flips through the channels on the T.V when suddenly Yugi shouts)  
Yugi: Hey! Turn it back!  
(Joey flips it back and Yugi says here)  
Joey: The teletubbies?  
Yugi: Yes, It's very educational!  
Tea: Oh, boy. What a turn on!  
Yugi: Po's very sexy, tinkie winkie's hot too, but he's ate too many  
twinkies.  
(The Teletubby Theme song play's and Yugi's mesmerized by the dancing and  
bob's his head from side to side with a huge smile on his face, and an  
announcement appeared)  
Announcer: Hello Boys and girls, how would you like to meet the  
teletubbies?!  
Yugi: Oh yes! I DO I DO!!  
Announcer: Well Just get your parents and send a letter to us saying why  
you want to meet the teletubbies!  
Yugi: All right!!  
Tristan: You can't be serious?....  
Yugi: I'm going home to right the letter!!  
( He goes home and right's the letter and sends it in...next week he's  
watching teletubbies at home)  
Announcer: Congratulations to Yugi Motto! You have won our contest and can  
come down to see the teletubbies whenever you want for a year!!  
Yugi: (blinks twice)...wow!  
( the next day Yugi goes down to the station)  
Guard: What are you doing here?  
Yugi: I'm Yugi Motto and I want to go see the teletubbies!!  
Guard: aren't you a little too old, well today's not a good day.  
Yugi: Why not? You're never too old to love anything! I still have my play  
cashier! Ya see, on the box it's  
says ages 2+! Well I'm 13 that's over 2!  
Guard: Umm...You really do not want to go in there....  
Yugi: That's okay. Hey, do want a cup of kool-aid? I have some!  
Guard: Hmmm, okay...  
( The guard drinks some of the kool-aid poured from Yugi's thermos)  
Yugi: You know what my mom taught me about when people don't let you have  
your way before she died?  
Guard: What?  
Yugi: Drinks can be made interesting with some expert strength Drano plus!  
Guard:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Yugi: Enjoying your drink?  
(the guard falls down and dies)  
Yugi: Now guess how my mom died!!...now, on to the Teletubbies!!!  
( Yugi goes on and finds on the 11th floor everyone's dead, shot to be  
exact and he hears voices in one of the room and decides to listen)  
Tinkie Winkie: To hell with PBS!! They think they can get away with firing  
us, well they have paid dearly!!  
( Yugi looks in the room and the teletubbies are in the room with  
machine guns and smoking drugs)  
Dipsy: Hey Po what'chya do to the little sunshine?  
Po: Well let's say the next time you look at the sun there will actually be  
a baby in it!!  
La La: Now all we gottta do is find something else to do for money... the  
mafia?  
Po: No  
La La: Laundromat?  
Po: No  
La La: Italian restaurant?  
Po: No, do you want to pay protection to the Mafia?  
La La: Then why not the Laundromat?  
Po: Think of how many blood stained clothes would be brought, and lead the  
mafia to us,.  
La La: But the Mafia is so cool!!  
Po: Idiot...  
La La: Oh you know you just want to 'Po' me!  
Po: I am going to stab you.  
Po & La La: Antennae fight!!!  
Tinkie Winkie: Maybe if we just take the money from the people we shot and  
the Gerber life program from  
the baby  
La La: Owww, OWWW!! My antennae is tangled with yours!!  
Po: Stupid Bitch!!!  
Yugi: Oh my Gawd!! Po said a No-no!  
( the teletubbies turn around)  
Tinkie Winkie: Who are you?  
Yugi: I'm Yugi Motto the winner of the contest... I can't believe you can  
talk... AND NO MORE SHOWS EVER AGAIN!!! WAAAH!!  
Dipsy: You shouldn't of come here, now we have to kill you.  
Yugi: First you will have to duel me! And since you don't play I shall get  
away!!  
Tinkie Winkie: Actually...  
( He pushes a button and in a room next to them a dueling arena)  
Tinkie Winkie: Fine we shall duel you, just for fun. We are all master  
duelists!  
Yugi: !!!!!!!!!( holy crap)  
Tinkie Winkie: Po, you first!  
Po: Feel the awesome power of my Fairy's!!!  
( They all go to the arena)  
Yugi: You shall lose, for I am the king of games!  
Po: Correction...Yami is, You're just a vessel for him to live in.  
Yugi: Fine, let's duel!!  
( they begin with 4000 life points)  
Po: First turn honors are mine I will put a Magic card face down and I  
summon this little number face down defense mode!  
Yugi: Fine, I also put a card face down and summon Gazelle the Mystical  
beast and I will have him attack your face down monster  
( The beast attacks and the spirit of the harp appears)  
Po: You moron! Now you lose 600 life points!  
( Yugi Life points drop to 3400)  
Po: Now I summon Dancing Fairy!! Attack Gazelle  
( It attacks and Yugi's life points drop to 3000)  
Yugi: Humph... I will summon this in defense mode!!  
Po: Blah, blah, blah... Summon this face down defense!! switch dancing  
fairy to defense, attack with spirit of the harp!  
(it attacks and it's big shield gaurdna and Po's life points drop to  
2700)  
Yugi: Moron!! Now I will sacrifice him and summon summoned skull and attack  
dancing fairy!  
(dancing Fairy is destroyed and the summoned skull plays doll house with  
their carcass)  
Po: EEEEWWWw, Your ugly summoned skull is being so mean to my fairies even  
after their untimely death!!  
Yugi: That's nothing! Wait till he starts molesting them!!  
Po: You Meanie!!!11 I will sacrifice, spirit of the harp and my face down  
Hoshiningen and summon wing weaver!! Wing weaver attack!!  
Yugi: I activate my face down card wabaku!!  
Po: NOOOOOO!!!  
Yugi: Now my turn, heart of the cards guide my next draw!! Yes!! Now I will  
use Change of Heart and attack with summoned skull!!!  
Po: I activate Spellbinding circle! I hope he likes a little restriction!  
Yugi: Eww. Wing weaver! Attack!  
( Wing weaver makes a n iridescent beam attack Po's life points and  
starts activating the T.V. on his tubby tummy, and starting picking up CNN)  
Yugi: Yay! They found Asama Bin Laden and shoved a shrapnel down his  
throat!  
Tinkie Winkie: Hmm, well La La, go! Po you're a failure!  
( He shoots Po and Yugi takes his deck and slips in a card into his deck)  
La La: Don't underestimate me! My manly warriors will slay you!  
Yugi: Oh, maybe I should add another card...  
La La: I'm going first, dark fire soldier! Attack!!  
Yugi:...You can't do that...  
La La: Fine, FI~NE!! Go ahead then  
Yugi:... okay then I summon this face down defense mode  
La La: All right I will put a card face down and sacrifice him for swamp  
battle guard! NOW ATTACK AND WATCH MY MUSCULAR HUNK BASH YOUR MONSTER'S  
HEAD IN!!  
( it attacks and it's the Mystical elf and La La's life points drop to  
3800)  
La La: That damn Bitch stopped my attack!  
Yugi: Yes, she's a great defender and a great lover...I DIDN'T SAY  
ANYTHING, heh-heh! Now I will summon Gemini Elve's set a trap card and have  
them attack your swamp battle guard! umm  
( the Gemini elves grab each other roughly around the neck and start  
kissing)  
Dipsy: Yay, Lesbians!!  
( They eventually attack and La La's LP drop to 3700)  
La La: I will use time machine to bring him back!  
( He comes back)  
La La: and I will also use Dark magic curtain to summon another card to the  
field by sacrificing half my life points!  
Yugi: So will I!  
( La La's LP drop to 1850 while Yugi's drop to 2000 and La La summons Lava  
Battle Guard and Yugi summons Wing weaver)  
La La; Uh-oh... well I will use stop defense! and have Swamp battle guard  
attack Mystical elf!  
Yugi: I activate my trap card! Seductress's dance!  
( all of Yugi's monster's start to dance around them, the Mystical elf and  
Wing weaver around the Swamp Battle guard and the Gemini elves around the  
lava battle guard *they're probably thinking wow two!*)  
La La: What's this?!  
Yugi: for every female I have on the field I can negate the attack of a  
male by reducing my monster's morality to dance for them!  
La La: Uh-oh...  
Yugi: Now if I can just get one more card I'll win!  
La La: What's the chance you'll get it!  
Yugi: Very good since I just drew it! Now I activate Hotel of misdeeds!  
La La: what does this do!  
Yugi: You should know since it was Po's! Well if I have a female on my side  
of the field and if I control one of your males My female's will lead them  
into the hotel where they mysteriously die!  
LaLa: Oh, No!!  
(The girls lead the two guys into the hotel and they first hear screams  
of joy and than *BOOM*... the girls then walk out )  
Yugi: Wait till the maid sees the stains on those bed sheets! Now Ladies,  
attack!!!  
( they all start bitch slapping La La , and then Nickolodeon comes on the  
T.V. as his/her LP drop to nothin'  
Yugi: I...HATE...SPONGEBOB!!!!!  
( Yugi shoots La la)  
Tinkie Winkie: Hmmm, You're better than I thought. Oooh, food! *Gobble,  
Gobble, snarf, snarf, smack*  
Dipsy, go fight them!  
Dipsy: But if I lose someone's going to kill me!  
Tinkie Winkie: Not if you win dipshit! Hmmm, Dipsy the Dipshit, I love it!!  
Dipsy: Alright then, go easy on my beasts, okay?  
Yugi: Tinkie Winkie said a BIG No-no! He said the 'S' word!  
Tinkie Winkie: Shut the hell up, jackass!  
Yugi: The teletubbies have a name for me now!! Jackass! Who'd of thought  
I'd get a nickname?  
Dipsy: Fine, whatever, I'll call you teddy bear if you let me win!  
Yugi:...panda bear?  
Dipsy: Fine.  
Yugi: Hey don't try to bribe me with pet names! Now I'm seriously going to  
have to beat your bottom!  
Dipsy: Alright, I summon Hitotsumi Giant in attack mode!  
Yugi: And I summon Gurai Gumo and attack him! oh wait I'll flip this coin  
here alright?  
Dipsy: Alright.  
(he flips gets heads and attacks and Dipsy the dipshit's LP drop to  
3000)  
Dipsy: Hey let me see that coin!  
Yugi: Okay.  
Dipsy: Hey! this is a two-sided coin!  
Tinkie Winkie: They all are Dipsy the dipshit!! ( He throws up)...what?  
Okay I'm bulimic, so what the fluck?  
Dipsy: it has two heads!  
Yugi: But you agreed to let me use this coin, you can't take that back  
after I flip!  
Dipsy:... But we try to teach you cheating is wrong!  
Yugi: No, I didn't cheat, it's called tricking your opponent!  
Dipsy: Fine Now I'll use soul exchange on your bug and summon the Ancient  
one of the deep forest! Attack Yugi's life points!  
( Yugi's LP drops to 2200)  
Yugi: CRAP!!! the only beast I have is a Beaver Warrior in my hand! Oh,  
well face down defense mode...  
Dipsy: Hee! Allright My 'not' so gentle lamb! Attack now!!  
(Big shield gaurdna appears and dipsy's LP drops to 2100)  
Dipsy: You cheated again!  
Yugi: No! I said it was the only beast I had.  
Tinkie Winkie: Stop fooling around dipshit the dipsy!  
Yugi: HAHAHAHA! You said it backwards!  
Tinkie winkie: SHUT UP YOU...YOU... BAASSTTAARRDD!!!!!  
Yugi: Hey, how'd you know? Oh yeah, I shall summon Summon skull and give  
him his meal!  
(Summon skull attacks and put's on an apron that says 'Diss the cook'  
and starts making lamb chops while dipsy's LP go down to 1500)  
Dipsy: oh, crap, hmmm, I will play this in defense mode.  
Yugi: Too bad! I draw pot of greed use it--...Ha! I will use my two  
Ookazi's and you lose!!  
Dipsy: Don't worry, I'll do it. ( He gets a gun and shoot's him/herself and  
the T.V. turns to old rerun's of I dream of Jeanie.  
Yugi: Okay, tinkie winkie! You're next!  
Tinkie Winkie: Fine then!!  
( Just then Tea walks in and grabs out her deck)  
Tea: You're NOT dueling my little Yugi!!  
Tinkie winkie: Fine sexy, then let us duel!  
Tea: Fine! I shall show everyone now that I am quite a stalwart duelist!  
Let's begin, I'll take 2nd turn!  
Tinkie Winkie: Alright! face my awesome PYRO's  
Tea: Well here pyro! ( She throws matches at him that are lit)  
Tinkie winkie: Oww, I hate FIRE!! That is why I use them!  
Tea: Boy what a braniac!  
Tinkie winkie: I will start this in face down defense!  
Tea: Fine! I will place two cards face down on the field and put this card  
in attack mode! Come and show your power Fire Princess!  
Tinkie Winkie: You are one dumb broad!  
Yugi: Tea! What are you doing! That's not going to work!  
Tinkie winkie: Alright, I shall sacrifice my flame dancer and summon Mr.  
Volcano and attack!  
Tea: Thought you'd do that! (She activates one of the face down trap cards  
Gravity Bind) With this only monster's with 3 stars or under can attack!  
And now I will activate solemn wishes before I draw and now I draw and I  
gain 500 LP and you lose 500!  
Tinkie Winkie: What?  
Yugi: How's that possible?  
Tea: You should know Yugi, after all you're a top duelist! It's simple  
really Solemn Wishes makes it for every time I draw I gain 500 LP and since  
I have Fire princess on the field her effect is whenever I increase my LP  
You lose 500, you could learn more strategies from me, Yugi!  
(Tea= 4500, T.W.=3500)  
Tinkie Winkie: shit!  
Tea now I will summon dancing fairy in attack mode and end my turn!  
Tinkie winkie: Shit, shit, SHIT!!hmmm, I summon Jigen Bakudon!  
Tea: Oh wow! Here's something for you! *sings "Teletubbies, Teletubbies!  
Tinkie Winkie doesn't have a dinkie! Teletubbies!"*  
Tinkie Winkie: I do too! see!  
Tea: *cover's here eye's* EEEWWW!! *uncover's them* I Don't see anything!  
Tinkie winkie: Well how are you going to see from all the way back there?  
Tea & Yugi: HAHAHAHAAA!  
Tea: now I draw switch Dancing fairy to defense mode and summon Queens  
double to attack your lifepoints directly (LP Tea=5000 T.W.=2650) and set  
two cards face down!  
Tinke winkie I summon Fire soldier and flip Jigen Bakudon  
Tea: I use horn of heaven and offer my Queen's double to get rid of Jigen  
Bakudon!  
Tinkie: Winkie: Crap!  
Tea: I activate yet another Solemn wishes and draw and summon a dancing  
fairy in attack mode and end my turn (LP Tea=6500 T.W. 1650)  
Tinkie winkie: F#$&!! I can't do anything.  
Tea: Ha! I draw and then I summon yet another queen's double and attack and  
you lose!!  
Tinkie Winkie: Dammit!! Well I'm not going to die!  
Tea: Really?! ( she grabs a fan from her side and throws it at Tinkie  
winkie and cut's off his head and the TV turns on to skinamax  
Yugi: Whoa! You killed him with a fan!  
Tea: A tessen to be exact!... Yugi! stop staring at the TV right now!!  
Yugi: Free porn...*starts drooling*  
Tea: The blood's going to cover it all up soon anyway. Let's go home!  
( they go home and next week...)  
Joey: There's nothing on TV... Oh look teletubbies has been canceled Yugi!  
now it's... MARTHA STEWART!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Tea: I hope you're over the teletubbies Yugi.  
Yugi: Yep! I can't believe you're that good of a duelist!  
Tea: You kidding? I was going easy on him!  
Yugi: Really? Well Time to watch Martha Stewart  
Announcer: How would you like to see Martha stewart in person?  
Yugi: Oh I do I do!  
Tea: Here we go again!  
THE END 


End file.
